다 울고 나서 나한테 전화해

The line, explained

Sometimes the kindest thing a friend can say is not 'don't cry'. It is this: 'Once you've cried it all out, call me.' It gives you permission to fall apart, and it promises someone will be there when you are done. The grammar that holds it together is -고 나서, 'after doing this, then that'. It is how Korean lines up two actions, making sure the first is completely finished before the second begins.

다 means all or completely, and before a verb it often means 'to the end', 'fully'. 다 먹었어 is 'I ate it all'; 다 울었어 is 'I cried it all out'. Here it is a quiet, generous word. The friend is not rushing you. You can take as long as you need, and only when the crying is fully done do you move to the next step.

울다 means to cry. Add -고 나서 to the stem and you get 울고 나서, 'after crying'. -고 alone means 'and', so 울고 전화해 would be 'cry and call'. Adding 나서, from 나다, emphasises that the first action is finished before the second. The ending never changes shape: 먹고 나서, after eating; 자고 나서, after sleeping. Tense goes on the last verb, not on -고 나서, so the same form works for past, present and future.

나한테 is 'to me'. 나 is the casual 'me', and 한테 marks the person something is directed to, like 'to' in 'give it to me'. You will also hear 에게, which means the same but sounds a little more written. 전화해 is the casual command form of 전화하다, to call or phone, from 전화, telephone. In this line it is less an order than an invitation: call me, I am here.

Say it softly, as if you are handing someone a tissue: da ul-go na-seo, a pause, then na-han-te jeon-hwa-hae. Now change the first step: 푹 자고 나서, after a good sleep; 밥 먹고 나서, after you eat; 일 끝나고 나서, after work is done; 생각해 보고 나서, after you have thought it over. The order is always the same: first thing finished, -고 나서, then the next thing. And the next thing, in this scene, is always calling a friend.